Storm Chasing Road Rules

Anthony Cornelius & Andrew McDonald & additional thoughts from SCD, Bussy

 

Disclaimer: MSC takes no responsibility for the opinions & definitions contained herein - I was held up by a crazed uni student suffering from the aftereffects of a brilliant lightning show and an accountant who's been fighting with a non-functioning computer system who doesn't have a view from his office, and SCD who has his own thoughts on the matter........


Give Way Sign: Other motorists are asked to give way to storm chasers.

Stop Sign: Other motorists are requested to stop and ensure that no storm chasers wish to cross their path before continuing.  Unfortunately, this sign is often disobeyed by inconsiderate motorists and storm chasers are advised to slow down upon reaching a stop sign to avoid collision.

Roadwork Ahead: Traffic jam ahead.

School Bus Ahead: The Bus driver will notice the Stormchasers coming at terrifying speed and pull over into this zone to allow them to pass safely.

Loose stones on road: Your car might suffer hail-like damage if another motorist in the opposite direction drives past too quickly.

Emergency Stormchasing Lane: Otherwise labeled as "Emergency Stopping Lanes." This is an initiative of the federal government in large cities as they recognized the need to have good advantage points, however due to strict watchdogs has been renamed "Emergency Stopping Lanes" so that the public believes they serve a purpose to those who aren't storm chasing. Unfortunately like all government projects, the people who constructed these did not put any thought into placement, hence some Emergency Stormchasing Lanes are infrequently used.

Telephone ahead: Often located at Emergency Stormchasing Lanes - used to call for radar and satellite updates should your mobile phone run out of battery power.

Speed limit: Stormchasers are required to adhere to speed limits while not chasing, however may exceed the speed limit during storm chases providing it is safe to do so. There are several regions where even stormchasers are not allowed to exceed the speed limit:
a) In "photo zones" - if you are travelling faster then 10%, your car will be photographed and a very large bill will be sent to you to cover the cost of reproducing a poorly produced image of the front of your car.
b) In "radar zones" - this is an area where a radar is used incorrectly. Instead of pointing the radar scanner into the sky, it is pointed at the road and if you exceed more then 10% of the speed limit you will be stopped and will be required to fill in a survey form. The cost of processing this survey form is very expensive, and it is advised that stormchasers avoid this.
c) In "mobile temporary speed restriction zones" - This is designed so that people who are not stormchasers do not receive the privileges of a stormchaser. Unfortunately due to the large number of people who imitate stormchasers' driving while following an F5, it can often be difficult to prove you're a stormchaser and subsequently you'll need to fill in a survey form as per (b).
NB: The current network of reporting where the above zones are very poor, especially (c). Stormchasers can flick to their local FM station in built up areas for reports on (a) and (b). Communication from other drivers is also helpful (this is done with 2 flicks of high beam).

Recommended Speed Limit: Double this to find out the speed of which you'll begin to slide off the road in the wet around this corner.

Speed Bump Ahead: Drive fast to achieve maximum velocity over this, and your car will temporarily be elevated as to observe any storm activity in the vicinity.

No overtaking next 10km: Slow truck ahead.

T-Junction Ahead: Alternative storm chasing routes possible.

X-Junction Ahead: Multiple alternative storm chasing routes possible.

Round-A-Bout Ahead: 360 degree view vantage point.

Dirt Road Ahead: Aquaplaning conditions ahead

Thargomindah - 100km: Hell - 100km.

Welcome to NSW: Roadwork ahead

NSW/VICTORIA border sign: There are two situations here.
(a) If you are travelling from Victoria into NSW this sign means "welcome all stormchasers to the state with the shittiest roads in the world and some of the the worst drivers to boot. Be prepared to see the road network diminish to seriously low levels".
(b) If you are travelling from NSW into Victoria this sign takes on a whole new meaning. It means "I can't believe you survived so long in that state. Welcome to the state of near perfect roads and near perfect drivers. As you venture further into Victoria you will see a road network second to none - enjoy your stay in the near perfect state".

Driving with mobile phones: This is only permitted by stormchasers and stormchasers only. This requires great skill and the "dropping of the phone" technique has been perfected by stormchasers upon the unlikely chance that a police person happens to appear behind, beside or in front of you whilst driving.

Driving with a video camera / camera: This is only permitted by stormchasers while stormchasing or whilst pretending to be Roads Association officers or private detectives on a case.

Next petrol 200km sign: TURN BACK - YOU ARE HEADING TOWARDS THARGOMINDAH!!!!! FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY TURN AROUND!!!!!!!!!

Bell 46km Sign: "Macca why are you driving into that meso?" "Meso? What Meso?"

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