|For those times when SDS sets in................................in 2001|
|(with apologies to the inventors)|
Laws of Storm Chasing
Law of the Mountains
If you decide to chase to the west of the ranges, storms will develop to your east and move out to sea before you arrive there. If you decide to chase on the east of the ranges, storms will form well to your west and by the time you reach them, you'll witness a minute of lightning before miraculously dissipating.
Law of the Ranges
A ranges storm will remain just that - a ranges storm if you are within 50km of it. However, if you dismiss it and decide not to chase it/watch it - it will move off the ranges and start dropping golf ball hail near where you were originally thinking of going.
Law of Commitments
Storms only occur if you have work, family or other commitments
Law of Circumstances
Storms will also occur or suddenly become more severe if your car breaks down or some one borrows your car.
Law of Thargomindah (I)
The river will rise twice as quickly if you are on the west (townward) side of the river than if you are on the east side of the river.
Law of Thargomindah (II)
If you don't want to be at Thargomindah, you'll get stuck there for a week watching supercells from a distance. However, the one time you want to get to Thargomindah, it'll be cut off from floods.
Law of the Lines
Double lines only occur in places where you can clearly overtake. Once the double lines disappear, an oncoming car will arrive.
Law of the Overtake
Overtaking lanes are always 500m too short, and 2km too soon
Law of the Law
Police cars only appear if you are:
Law of the Bushes:
Even the most deserted road will have a car come by when you decide to relieve yourself in the bushes
Law of the Kind Motorist:
Motorists only stop and ask you if you need help if you are stopped beside the road and videoing a storm. When you turn to answer them "no" a CG is likely to pop out where you were videoing. If you are stopped by the side of the road with your bonnet up in the air, no motorists will be around or stop for you.
Law of the Kind Bush
Combining the above two laws, they cancel each other out if you are broken down and relieve yourself behind a bush, unless you are further than running distance to meet the oncoming car.
Law of the Electric Fence
Electric fences marked "Warning! Electric fence" are never turned on. Seemingly innocent, old and unused fences are however attached to the local power plant and are alive and kicking.
Law of the Kangaroo
The only live kangaroos you see are the ones you have to swerve for.
Law of the close CG (I)
Close CGs only occur when you are standing outside of the car, and you are one of the highest objects in the immediate vicinity.
Law of the close CG (II)
You only hear close CGs, never see them - and are left wondering which tree near you it hit
Law of Radar
Confucius says "Radar not working in storm area is hiding a supercell." But when radar comes back online, it dies within 20 minutes.
Law of Cumulus
Confucius says "A watched cumulus never grows."
Law of the Pessimist
If you are following a thunderstorm and decide to give up chase and head back home. After you have told all your friends that the storm was a fizzer and weak, on the late night news you'll hear that a "mini tornado has ripped through" one of the towns you were in, an hour before you left.
Anthony Cornelius (whilst trying not to write assignments)
Laws of Forecasts and Storm Chasing.
about everyone you meet has seen larger hail then you have.
|This gem was heard on
3LO 774 during the BOM weather description by the senior forecaster at 0905hrs this
BOM: 'Heating today will develop a possible shower',
COMPERE: (who seemed puzzled) Heating? what do you mean?,
BOM: 'well, in the morning as the surface is heated by the sun, little bubbles start to rise and make all those fluffy clouds, in the afternoon with more heating, this generates great big bubbles that rise up and sometimes produces the thunderstorms we see a few times each summer'!!!
.....keep an eye out for those BUBBLES....a less than scientific way to describe convection...... P.S The compere was very happy with the explanation.
(sent in by someone who is always listening)
Does It Always Rain On Me?
I can't sleep tonight
|...and then this morning, there was the forecaster who when asked on Wednesday morning what the weather on Thursday would be like promptly forecast 'drizzle on Thursday morning till 9am"|
|Well - at
last some one has finally brought out a mobile phone for storm chasers! Ok - it's not
really designed for storm chasers, but look at these features!
Stop-watch: Now you can accurately measure the time between a flash of lightning and thunder!
Shock Resistant: Can withstand a fall of up to 3m onto a hard surface, no more juggling the video camera, SLR and mobile phone! Just drop the mobile and pick it up later, very convenient!
Water Resistant: Rain, hail or flood - you can talk on the phone as it's water resistant under 1/2m of water for one minute!
Dust Resistant: You can now drop your phone in mud and not have to worry about it at all!
Automatic Volume Control: Tired of not being able to hear the other person while standing beside the roadside as a truck roars past? Worry no more! This new phone automatically senses the optimum level - and will increase the sound if need be for your listening and updating pleasure.
Manual Display Contrast: Adjust the display so you can see the screen with or without your sunnies, in bright daylight or while sitting underneath a dark meso.
7 bar battery and signal strength: Ever wondered if you had 1.5 bars of signal or 2 bars of signal? Ever wondered if your battery is nearly 3/4 half full, or 1/4 half full? Wonder no more! This little beauty has 7 bars of battery and signal strength to give you exact measurements!!!
Profile Settings: Although standard on most phones now - you can now adjust profiles for storm chasing, storm watching, storm running, or even those horrid family events you are forced to attend while there's storms around so it can quietly ring so you can sneak away to the bathroom unnoticed to receive the latest info from a fellow storm chasers.
Callers can be identified through different ring tones: Now you don't even have to take your eyes off the storm (and the road too!) to know who's ringing. And you can also get a longer warning time if it is a family member who is phoning to hassle you why you are not home yet when you are still 2hrs away watching storms.
Voice Dialing: Easy use dialing while driving!
Predictive test for SMS: Now you can type SMS messages even quicker, and it's also much easier to use while driving! (Not that anyone would be using their mobile to type a SMS while driving...)
Built in Games: For those times while you're sitting under a tree waiting for the cap to break.
|Not-so-seriously updated 29th October 2001|
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